I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
