i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
