Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i came on her dog
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
