i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
