i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
