Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
