just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
