69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
