jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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