My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
