Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
