Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
