Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
