I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
