end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
