I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
