I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
