Dual....:-)
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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