I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
