My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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