Just cropdusted the office
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
