Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
