So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
