If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
