So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
