Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
and you fell through a lawn chair
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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