no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
