dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have fence marks all over my body
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
