hotel room ftw
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
