high people should be assigned attendants
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
