if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
