I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
