Kiss
Puke
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
