I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
