I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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