Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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