Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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