I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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