What did we do last night that was yellow?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
