Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
