five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
