I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
