He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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