dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
