she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's blow job season.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
