im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
