And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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