Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
