Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
