Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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