My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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