dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
