I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
