First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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